Just a few picutres from my trip home that I played with...

~~Meet My Family~~

Well I  went back "Home" yesterday......no matter how long I am in Nashville ~~~Harriman will always, always be home....I stopped by to see a dear friend....Emily G Feaster...I have not seen her since August when she drove all the way to Nashville to give blood at the Blood Drive I organized for my late sisters memory in August....She is the type of friend that you are only blessed with a few times in life...

I have been fortunate enough to have  3 of them...Dawn my BFF from highschool who sadly passed away in 2001....Emily..who I have known since Highschool...and Stephanie Miller...the sister God gave me. Emily made me this in memory of my little sister

..

it is no secret my first stop was at my aunt Sissy's house.  

it was the unexpected death of her son.....my dear sweet cousin Bruce that brought me home this time...not a good reason to go home...but I had to be there...no matter what I was gonna be there...having been through 8 funerals last year...this is not how   I wanted to start out in 2012..but God's plan is very seldom our plan..!!
 

Garrett...Bruce's youngest son...who looks so very much like his father...it is just uncanny...he has a heart of gold and is so very sweet..I hope to get closer to this young man as he grows older..

He wrote a poem for his daddy ...and gave me a copy of it to bring home..it is the sweetest thing...I can't imagine what HELL he is going through right now...having lost his daddy...but I can tell you he is one special young man...

I got to see my cousin Jalynn..who I haven't seen since the summer when Justen went to spend a week with Aunt Sissy...Growing up she and I were more like sisters than cousins...doing so much stuff together. and having the occasional knock down..drag out fight...but 10 minutes later ..we were fine again..but that is just the Love we have for each other..and the bond that ties us together..and now we have something in common that I would not wish on my worst enemy...we have both lost a sibling...however she has lost 2 of them in 5 years...breaks my heart...but..I love this girl so much there is nothing I would not do for her...and I know she feels the same way I love love love her..........

.......even though she tried to hide from my camera...to no avail!! She always looks great in photos....but she was worried cuz her face was a lil'  red where we had all been crying at the beautiful service we had just left for Bruce...I got my picture anyway!! J ~ I love you....you know  that!!!

Before we went to the funeral home....I went to Chuck's Deli...oh how I have missed that place..best burgers I have ever had in my life...I took Mnazia with me....Jalynn's oldest daughter..her and Justen were born 3 months apart..she is such a beautiful girl...and so much like her momma...

Little Indyia is jalynn's youngest..she is a spitfire if i ever seen one...got a mouth like her momma.....and that can be both good and bad....just like having a mouth like me...she is so so very smart...and sweet too...as long as you don't mess with her...Love these kiddos...I hate that I missed having my photos made with Mat..jalynn's oldest child...who is expecting her first grandchild with his girlfriend Lexi

And who can forget ELIZABETH I can't call her Beth....no matter how hard I try...lol she will always be Elizabeth to me..I have known her since I was little, I use to love going to her parents house..they were like adopted grandparents to me growing up since I lost all of mine but one by the time  I was 5...I can say this..she is one person who in 20 years has not changed one bit at all....

Please keep this dear sweet boy in your prayers...I hugged his brother Gentry...who I didn't get a pic with sadly..as he was leaving...and told him " I love ya Gentry..if you need anything I'm here"  Garrett heard me...and said..."What, you don't love me...?" I was like "Hell YES baby I love you" he then gave me one of the tightest...best...sweetest hugs I have had in a long long time..he is gonna stay with his nanny...my sweet Aunt sissy...who has spent the last 33 years(probbaly longer, but im only 33 so i don't remember b4 1978)taking care of everyone .except herself...now it is time for her to do that!1 And jalynn and I are gonna make sure she does that...make sure Sissy takes care of Sissy for once....so please keep them in your prayers...as our family will need them in the coming months...and years.. 

~~~~~~~The poem Garrett wrote his father~~~~~~~~~~


 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Gone But Not Forgotten~~~~~~~

We sat beside your bedside
Our hearts were crushed and sore
We did our best, til the end
Til we could do no more
In tears we watched you sinking
We watched you fade away
And though our hearts were breaking
We knew you couldn't stay
you left behind some aching hearts
That loved you most sincere
We never shall,and never will
Forget you Father dear
By: Garrett Lee Kittrell


In Memory of his father Garry Bruce Kittrell
April 1,1965----January 8,2012

Words I Couldn't Say

Theres a rain that will never stop fallin
There a wall that I tried to take down
What I should have said just wouldnt pass my lips
So I held back and now we've come to this
And it too late now

What do I do now that your gone
No back up plan no second chance
And no one else to blame
All I can hear in the silence that remains
Are the words I couldnt say

This is how my Heart feels......dark clouds...stormy...no sun in sight...when will it end......I wonder...

I can't seem to get better...everyone says time will heal...they are so so WRONG!....If anything It seems to get worse...

HERE WE GO AGAIN..MORE DEATH IN 2012

Well here we are less than 2 weeks  into 2012 and death ...that cold heartless BITCH has decided to come back yet again..... My cousin Garry Bruce Kittrell age 45 passed away on Jan. 8,2012 at 6:15pm ...he joins my sister...who passed less than a year ago...his sister Missy who died in 2005 ... His father, and his 17 month old daughter who passed in 1989... Last year our family (mine and Scotty's)... lost 8 people in just a few months... 2011 was awful......and 2012 is starting off the same ol shitty  way